a new journey (should 'a been gone!!!)

yesterday at 6:30pm I decided to embark on a journey that may or may not be my undoing. After 18 years as a loyal contributor to the great American tobacco companies, I have decided to give up my habit in an effort to delay my death for as long as possible. Jackie and I talked last night. She was concerned because 2 nights ago I was wheezing in my sleep. I've often had a hard time breathing at night. To tell you the truth, I noticed that my breathing was more labored than normal when I was a kid. The first time I ran a mile competitively, I realized that even though I won the race, my breathing was more labored than that of my competitors. So, maybe my lungs weren't in the best condition before I started smoking. Now they are almost certainly filled with high doses contaminants. I had my first cigarette when I was 10 years old. I was smoking regularly at 14. By the time I was a senior in high school I was smoking a few packs per week. College turned into more than a pack a day. When I got out of college it just got worse. I have tried to quit a few times in the past and on one occasion I made it almost 2 months without a cigarette. But as anyone who has fought this habit will tell you, as soon as you have one, you want another. and another after that. before you know it, you're a smoker again. Regardless of what the tobacco companies have told the public over the past 100 years, nicotine is a drug. It triggers the addictive censors in your brain and makes you crave for it. It literally will call to me when I try to fall asleep. It is also a habit. I am a creature of habit and have a generally addictive personality. This is going to be very hard. It's only been 20 hours since my last smoke and I've been thinking about having one since Gracyn woke me up at 6:30 this morning. I'm having a hard time concentrating on work; really focusing on any one thing for more than a few minutes. The mood swings haven't started yet, but I'm sure that will come soon enough. I just hope Jackie has as much patience with me as I know she can. I'm lucky to have a solid support team. Jackie, Gracyn, Evelyn; my girls will try as hard as they can to keep me smoke free, but they can only take me so far. The rest is up to me. Even as I sit here I'm dying for a smoke. I know I can walk across the street and pay the clerk $4.63 and she'll happily hand me a pack those beautiful white cylinders I've loved for so many years. I just can't do it. I owe it to my family. They're going to need me around when I'm 60 or 70 or hopefully 80 years old some day. I want to see my girls graduate from high school, college, grad school, have children of their own, play ball with my grand kids and die a very old man still passionately in love with the woman of my dreams (that's you Jackie). (Also, I'd like to be around to see the Kennedy files come out of the vault and enter the national archives.)

My plan is to keep updating this blog in the hopes that writing about it will keep me focused. I will be honest. If I smoke, I'll tell you. If I have a chew, a cigar, whatever. I'll tell you. I'm currently chewing the most foul gum you can imagine. It's really only one step above chewing a sweaty monkey testicle. (I don't know that from my own experience, but Kulifay told me about it once....nooch)

So, here I go. Shakes? Cravings? Inability to concentrate? Possible mental collapse? Bring it on.

democracy demolition coming to an arena near you

At this point I think we can all agree that the great nation that America once was is on the slope towards internal demolition. Think about this for a moment: the the falling of every industry begins with the law. When the law is allowed to make the rules and regulations and when lawyers are in charge of who does what and how they do it, then the advancement of industry takes a back seat to compliance. How is it possible for a business to thrive when business owners are constantly looking over their shoulder; looking out for the law to bite them in the ass. Looking out not for the best interest of growth and expansion, but rather peaking through a hole behind a bullet proof wall waiting for a ticking legal time bomb.

Before he said, "I am not a crook." Richard Nixon said, "a nation like a person has to have a certain inner drive in order to succeed." Inner drive is a phrase that I think has become more difficult to realize; and less likely to inspire. The more hoops the law creates, the less strength an inspired person can give towards his own inner drive.

America's inner drive used to be provided by the blood, sweat and tears of the inspired. People like Fiorello La Guardia, Henry Ford, Andrew Carnegie, Art Rooney, Steve Jobs, Lindsay Lohan, Lil' Wayne, Dane Cook. All these inspired people saw an opening in a market and filled that void with their own inspiration. Their own ideas. Prospering from their own inner drive. All of these people also had spectacular legal defense teams in their corner. Is this the same inner drive that Nixon was talking about when he made that speech? Is the inner drive of an individual represented in the nation? Not anymore. Again I say it's all about who gets what. The builders of this country in the beginning of the 20th century were determined to watch industrial times prosper; to see the nation grow for the better. If not for the inspiration of the builders of places like the Empire State Building, the Sears Tower, Heinz Feild, the nation would be worse off, but the inspiration would still live in the soles of all Americans. Today it takes an act of Congress (figuratively speaking) to get anything done. Inspiration gets sacked by legalization. Industry takes a 2x4 across the nose. Innovation gets tarred and feathered by pencil pushers. In the 1920's during prohibition, do you know who were the biggest violators of the Volstead Act? It wasn't the mob in Chicago, it wasn't the rum runners in the Carolinas, it was the very people who voted for it's placement in the legal system. Congressman and Senators of both parties were running booze through their districts by the barrel. They did this in the open air. Why? They could. How? The law can be manipulated to protect those who it serves best. The folks like my great grandfather, making gin in their basement tubs were constantly harassed by law enforcement. Did the law protect his best interests? The best interest of his family? No. Why not? Because he was an immigrant, probably didn't vote, definitely didn't give endorsements to political figures. He did what he had to do to keep food on the table. To support his family. And constantly looked over his shoulder for it.

The law has become our new industry. We don't build, create, inspire through blood, sweat and tears. We tweak, we bend, we manipulate in order to smooth the rough edges of past creations. But then again, I could be full of crap. You decide.

where in the world is moammar gadhafi?

Let's hear it for those Lybian rebels! Trinidad - the rebels have taken over the Gadhafi compound and have declared victory over the dictator's regime. As the sound of gunfire and RPG explosions echoed in the morning air, the rebels sang songs of triumph and danced in the streets. Good job fellas. We'll forget right now how idiotic it is to fire a weapon (much less an RPG) in the air. We'll just focus on how these rebels were able to get organized enough to overrun the Lybian army in the capital city of Trinidad. Let's ponder this for just a moment. Organization of the masses. Sounds simple enough in a world of constant contact through blackberries, iPads, XBox Connect, Workbooks, Notebooks, YouTube, Facebook, Lindsay Lohan, Lil Wayne. Do you think the average textile worker in Lybia has an laptop, the average fisherman a blackberry, policeman an iPhone? How many people in this country actually have access to the magical internet that we all take for granted? When you add the possibility of using only cellular technology and word of mouth, it makes this rebel force much more impressive. These guys are about 5 minutes away from destroying the death star with MaCgyver like engineering and Davie Crockett hunting rifles. So good job guys. Now what do you do? Well you're going to have to start governing at some point. Figure out a chain of command, put someone in charge and start a democratic society from scratch. Oh, you did that before? What was it, like 42 years ago and the guy you put in charge was who? Oh, the guy that you have been rebelling against for the better part 2 decades....and are now in the process of overruling. Ok, so back to the drawing board. I restate my earlier question. What do we do now? Well no doubt the US intelligence agency(s) had something to do with this. We have oil interests in Lybia, it would be a perfect place to set up a satellite jump off point to the middle east and it's right across the Mediterranean from the place Christina Aguilera vacations. Of course we had something to do with this. You don't have to be an intelligence guru to figure that one out. (you don't even have to know how to spell intelligence guru to figure it out). So I figure since we probably helped organize and arm the rebels, (the same way we probably helped the Afghanis fight the soviet army in the 70's) we should probably stick around and help the Lybians create a government that will work for them. There are constitutional experts on our payroll. Let's let the Lybians borrow some of these guys for a few months and have them write a Lybian constitution. A living document that can be manipulated through an act of congress. It will work for the Lybians until they get internet and cable tv in every house. Then they'll have to deal with the politics in the media, their government will forget the middle class, they'll eat too much McDonald's and blog about their political impotency. Sound familiar? So maybe someone else should help them write their constitution.

Back to the Moammar. Gadhafi has disapeared. no trace of him. where could he have gone? why would he leave? well he could have gone to any of the square mileage of the Texas sized country of which Trinidad is only one medium sized city. If the doesn't want to be found, he's gone forever. He's probably at the Baldwin estate already. he left because he is, as it turns out, just as blind to the plight of his people as every dictator. Here's what I don't get. How did he not see this coming? he's been in power for 42 years, you would think his experience would afford him some vision of the future and an ability to predict an outrage that included more than a million of his citizens. When they find him in a few months, it'll be a much smaller story.

in domestic news - Christina Aguilera (native of my home town) has leaked some new almost nude photos on the internet. For the 6 of you who haven't seen her naked yet, here's your chance.

The earthquake that originated in Virginia was felt as far away as Canada (that's the country just to the north of us, I forgot about them after South Park The Movie too).

Steve Jobs steps down as CEO of Apple. What an amazing dude. Nothing funny about the legacy he's leaving....or pancreatic cancer. Just think about the impact he's had on the world and what civilization would be like without his vision and innovation. No ipod, ipad, iphone, pixar movies, angry birds......the list goes on.

"ugly people" photos go untaken

I came across a story on the Time NewsFeed this morning. It hit home for me because the story highlights a small business owner from my home town of Pittsburgh, PA. Jennifer McKendrick is a photographer that makes the bulk of her paycheck this time of year from shooting senior photos for the surrounding high school students. Jennifer has refused to take pictures of teenagers who had posted "ugly" comments on facebook about other students. She says that these comments went past typical teenage picking and went on to say the comments were of a sexual nature. While I was unable to find these comments on the alleged "ugly messengers," I wholeheartedly agree with this small business owner. I give her a lot of credit for standing on principle; letting her paycheck diminish while increasing her moral leadership in her community. The parents of the students say that they had no idea that their kids were writing unsightly posts about others. This brings me to a few points:

1. This is exactly how business owner should operate. how wonderful would it be if the leaders of the large corporations behaved like this? We all know that's not how a corporate company works. All corporations are based on monetary growth. That's the way it works. They make a lot of money and to hell with everything else. Not Jennifer McKendrick. She stands on her own principles. And due to her conviction, her business has taken a short term hit, but has received national recognition which I'm sure will boost her future sales. And all she did was the right thing.

2. Where were the parents? They disappeared like Moammar Gadhafi from the rebels. Facebook is a cool addition to our communities. It allows us to connect with each other, reach people who have similar hobbies and experiences (regardless of geographic location); however, it also affords an opportunity for persons with less than productive intentions to conglomerate and multiply a more negative message. So how old were these facebookers? Well they are in high school, so I'm betting they live at home and were still under the legal supervision of their parents. Should the parents have been monitoring their facebook posts? Probably. Should they have been censoring them? Probably. We've all done stupid things as kids, but the current generation has had access to leave a permanent hand print in cyberspace. It's tough for a 17 year old to grasp the concept that something like this will really hurt someone's feelings on a long timeline. But the parents should know better. I guess it's easy enough for the "ugly messengers" to delete the negative posts and move on. It won't hurt them in the long run. They won't be hindered by this; their job prospects won't be hurt, their credit, college applications, public office ambitions. But what happens to the ridiculed students? The brain pain lasts forever. And posting on the internet takes an inside joke like, "Mason wears women's underwear...hahahaha." to a grand scale where now everyone with a computer joins in. what was a joke between 5 people becomes the curiosity of 500 people. Now everyone wants to know about Mason's bedside manor. It's a powerful tool but with great power comes great responsibility. Who is responsible? the kids, the parents, the school, Lindsay Lohan, Lil Wayne? When I was a kid I was on both ends of this spectrum at one time or another. As an adult, I've felt bad about being a jerk in the past and often wonder if my meanness has made any impact on the ambitions of the attacked. I also still carry a sense of aggression towards those who trespassed against me. I have to say that I have not forgiven and probably never will. But there's a point when you say, "who really cares? it was high school. I'm all grown up and have a family of my own now. piss on my aggressors of the past." but if someone picks on my kids, will my aggression towards the guy who gave me a wedggy in 9th grade come out? only time will tell. Will the kids who were picked on generate anger and aggression not just towards the trespassers, but towards the masses? It's spooky to think about the potential impact of this situation. Where do the dominoes stop?

3. Should the school intervene? That's a fair question I think. It's not exactly a problem for the school, but for the community. But isn't the school the center point of the community? I don't know how I would react if I were the superintendent. I guess I would attempt to create a town-hall like setting and bring leaders of the community (teachers, coaches, press, local politicians, police department) and anyone else that wanted to come into a room and discuss how to handle situations like this in the future...because i'm sure this won't be the last time this happens.

Just think about the impact that Jennifer McKendrick is having on her community now. All she did was the right thing. What will happen the next time you do the right thing? Who will it impact? How will it make things better.

Hats off to you Jennifer. Keep up the good work.

(www.jenmckenphoto.com)

royal pains

After reaching the age of 32 last week, I've noticed some changes in my mind and body. I think that last Saturday jarred something loose in my psyche. I know that all aches and pains in the body are centralized through the brain...but i think my brain has been aching and paining recently too. I don't know if everyone goes through this, but my knees are aching, my back is a constant struggle and my right shoulder hurts if i move it the wrong way. As a former athlete (a very former athlete), I expect that the tramendous amount of stress I put my body through with baseball, wrestling, soccer, biking, skating, snow boarding...ect causing pain later in life is expected. obviously i didn't think I'd live this long or I wouldn't have done anything to endanger my body as an adolescent (yeah right). But the pain that my body is going through isn't close to the agony in my mind. When you're young, life is a blank page. no one ever knows how this page will be filled in the future, we just do what we do and the words appear. When you get older and start reading the pages of your life, you get wrapped up in the how's and why's and the "that was a crazy night" moments of your past. My brain aches for those times of the past and for the thoughts of the future. As the pages in your youth were blank, the pages in the future seem to fill before you notice....all on their own. the possibilities seem limited, where the possibilities in youth were limitless. I like my life right now. I've never been happier. I wouldn't give it up for anything. But it's a constant struggle to fill the pages of the future before they have the opportunity to fill themselves. Time to carpe that diem.

back, and to the left

The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) - the guys from the pentagon who created gps, missile detection capabilities, the stealth fighter and the internet -  are being investigated for giving what could be the largest military contract to a civilian company ever. The contract was given to a Maryland based company called RedXDefence. Who is the former CEO of this civilian company? None other than Regina Dugan. Yep, the current director of DARPA. Yeah, someone might want to look into this. So let's look into Regina a little shall we? What did she do before becoming the director of DARPA? Other than co-founding RedXDefence with her father, she was a senior official at DARPA. How many people does it take to realize that there's something screwy happening here. This stuff happens all the time with small businesses. Someone works at a job, they learn the terrain, they think of different, more efficient, more profitable ways to do what they do and go out on their own. Why do people do this? Ambition and money. So how is this different? no no. I'll answer for you. This is YOUR gosh darn money that the defense department is messing around with. I love DARPA. I'm a big proponent of what they do and I'm glad that the guys that work there are on our side. These are the idea people that have probably come up with better ways of doing almost everything that we do. bless them. But the director is messing it all up. Dugan is brilliant and qualified, but as is in so many corporate situations, the director directs. she doesn't develop, decide or decipher anything that happens under her (get your head out of the gutter. i'm serious here). her job is to look pretty and make sure the overspending doesn't exceed 100% of the budgeted expenses. Ok, so now she's the director and she has decided that the company that she founded is the best outsource for this new contract. Of course she does. Do you think Dugan has any say in whether or not we continue fighting these wars? that is the real question here....and one that will fester, (unless of course you work in Langley, VA). What if we get into another conflict? it's not exactly out of the question for the US to intervene in a conflict that we have no interest in. So it comes back to who gets what. Let's just say that Regina is found guilty of messing around with defense department spending and she's fired. now we have to go looking for a new civilian company to outsource this contract? is the contract that was signed by the US DoD and RedX binding. Can this contract be broken for any reason? I don't know any of that. I'm just bringing this to your attention because I found it interesting. It also stirred up other thoughts of conspiracy: the CIA murder of John Lennon? Who was the second (or third or fourth) gunman on the grassy knoll? Is the FDA putting stuff in our food that they know to be toxic? the RFK assassination, area 51, the link between oil and politics, Lindsay Lohan, Lil Wayne? We have so much to fear besides fear itself Mr. Roosevelt. We have the American conspiracy theorists to fear, the mainstream media and the Mayan calendar. I'm afraid right now as i sit in my air conditioned house wearing my Vector jammies.

Back to the point. War is this countries biggest industry. We've spent something like 4 trillion dollars in the middle east in the past couple of decades. Of your 4 trillion dollars, how much of it went to civilian contractors building stuff for our military operations? I'm betting it was a lot. There is one particular conspiracy theory that links the JFK assassination with the Vietnam conflict (which soon after his death became the Vietnam war). I can't help but think that the country needed a war in the 60's. WWII was over in '45, nothing of military historical significance happened in the 50's and it was time for something new. the defense budget was far overdue for some spending. and civilian military contractors were sitting on their heals for the better part of a decade. it was time for those folks to get back to work and make some money. and that's what it all comes down to folks. money. we have to keep the money flowing even if it means our soldiers and sailors have to meet the business end of a soviet made assault rifle. it's just become so sad that we're in this situation and there's nothing to do except blog about it.

The classified files regarding the JFK assassination come out of the vault in 2029 (or 2017 depending on which internet source you want to look up). will those files shed any light on anything? will it give us some indication whether or not he was killed so we could solidify our relationship with our own civilian defense contractors? and most importantly will it assure us that we will be protected if it comes to that again? will we learn anything? I'm betting that before the files are released someone will have lost the keys to the vault....never to be found again. the conspiracy continues...

(right before i was going to publish this, my computer shut down by itself. it had plenty of battery life and no viruses that i know of. good thing blogspot automatically saves stuff. did someone from the CIA hack into my computer before I had a chance to post this? as with most things, we'll never know.....spooky)

put me in coach

yes it's that time again. we get to hear all about eating made from scratch jellies, fried butter, heaping amounts of corn smut then take a bath in ethanol. it's going to be a fun couple of days. someone decided that Iowa was going to be a good state to begin the campaign process. I can think of other states that would have been worse choices...Hawaii, Alaska, that's it. Can't think of anything else that would trump Iowa as an idiotic state to start. What were those silly founders thinking? How did they decide to make this the kick off point? As with most things, I have a theory: darts.

Here's how the mainstream media gets the American people to dig the Iowa caucuses: We need to raise the level of debate. We need to get Americans talking about this. And what better way then to put some politicians in the middle of the country where there is nothing else around, and make them create tents with petting zoos, pie eating contests and cornhole tournaments. May the best tent win?

Here's what I don't get (only one thing right?) how am I supposed to be involved with this public debate? I guess when I hear Governor Rick Perry of Texas standing on a 10 foot tower of hay and  posing like the Brawny guy saying Barrack Obama doesn't love America as much as he does could do the trick. If nothing else, this leaves me with an opportunity to create some really bad jokes. Loving America sounds like a good enough reason to vote for him. Doesn't it? Oh it doesn't? Oh, we all love America? Ok, so what does that mean for the Governor of Texas? He loves America so much that he's willing to get the country drunk on Yeagermister and make love to America and ask for the phone number later. Sure he says that he loves America, let's see what happens when he leaves the room service bill on the nightstand and goes over to China's house for a quickie the next day. Rick Perry loves America so much that he's willing to sacrifice livestock (or the middle class) in it's name. If America was a $50 hooker, Rick Perry would climb a fire escape to the top floor apartment and hand America a bouquet of Vietnamese grown flowers and a box of German chocolates. Rick Perry loves America so much that his campaign slogan is "sodomizing America today, for tomorrow."

Never mind the economic crises, the political rhetoric, never mind we're fighting two seemingly endless and overwhelmingly expensive wars. Let's not talk about all the decisions that Obama hasn't made, all the campaign promises broken and how wimpy wimpy wimpy he has become on account of Republicans, Tea Partiers and Blue Dogs. Let us all join hands and unite around the idea that we love America more than the President. Good campaign message. Forget everything else, it's all about love people.

Aside from the lashings that Rush Limbaugh has been giving Obama over the past few years, the news organizations are now jumping on the Rush wagon and questioning whether or not the President of the United Sates loves the country that he leads (or at least he makes a effort to). Seriously, this is what we're talking about. So, where does that put us? Does it mean that other leaders of the world are saying, "holy cow, he doesn't even like America. Let's get him! He won't even care. He'll probably lace up his boots help us out." NO. Of course not. So now what do we think? Do we think that because he doesn't love America he will pile drive us from the top rope and eat our children? NO. Of course not. He is the President of the United Sates, and as much as we may not like it, he lives in the big white house on Pennsylvania Avenue. Why can't we unite behind this president? is he a bad guy? if so, why did we vote for him? why all of the sudden are we questioning his patriotism? I'll tell you why, because the Governor of Texas opened his mouth for 5 minutes. I can't wait to see how (or if) he responds to the Governor's declaration of love.

The solution: put me in coach! I for one will be writing my name in on the ballot in 2012...I suggest you all do the same (write your name in, not mine....sorry for the dangling modifier). How cool would it be if there were 300 million different people who all got one vote. mhuhaha. take that democracy! we're going to stone cold stun the free speech right out of you.

more food jokes

I watch the food network probably more than a heterosexual male should. I'm just baffled by how cool we can make food. and it helps when Giada wears a low cut shirt (manhood restored). Here's what makes me a little crazy: I can follow a recipe about 7/8 of the way through. I think, "I could do that, it'd be fun, not too tough, tasty. Yeah, I'll do that tomorrow." then the Barefoot Contessa hits me with the deal breaker and my culinary dreams are frapped like the egg wash for the battered and fried sea bass. They walk through it so casually. "And to put this all together what you really need is the spit from a Galapagos turtle. There's really no way in getting around it. But if you have a decent grocery store around you, they should have it." yeah right lady! First of all I have a Food Lion and a Walmart close to me and second if the planets aligned and volcanoes erupted the seas stood still and Jesus returned, I still wouldn't eat your ridiculous turtle spit. Then without taking a breath, the food is on the plate and thne cut to a group of people enjoying fried sea bass with turtle spit in a garden setting with a lake in the background. Laughing and carrying on and not knowing that I'm on the other side of the camera with teary eyes and a shattered heart just knowing that I'll never master the art of getting people to eat turtle spit and smile about it. I think I'll stick to stuff that comes from a Kraft box, no spit required. Zero to a full tummy in less than 10 minutes. Beat that Rachel Ray.

Fay Jokes

I read recently that the term “comfort food” is being passed around the culinary community a lot. Food preparation engineers have been working for decades to make food for people who can afford to have food cooked for them not look and taste like the food that they can make at home themselves. Now we’re entering a world of exterior dinning where you literally pay someone to make mac n cheese the same way we made it for ourselves when we were 12 (it probably comes from the same box). But now they’ll put it in fancy looking writing on a fancy looking menu and snobby jackasses will buy it. "oh, this tastes just like my mother's. how do they do this? it's delicious!" It comes from a box asshole. The people at Kraft haven't changed anything in 50 fricken years. Not only is this a slap in the consumer’s face, but it’s a slap in food’s face. Food can be made so good by people who know how to do it, but food is getting its butt kicked by a cracked out version of powdered cheeses and better-than-average marketing tactics. Have fun eating out folks! I’ll be at home eating the same thing you are, but I’ll be $50 richer....and naked. 

defeated

after watching the President speak last night and witnessing the stock market finish over 600 points down, it underlines my opinion that the future of this nation if gloomy at best. Downgrading our credit rating to AA+ from AAA doesn't really mean anything to me. I'm invested in the sense that I have a 401K that isn't doing as well as I would like, but that's not my biggest beef. The biggest bummer is that the leadership in this country has been defeated by committee and political process. President Obama sounded off-kilter last night. What was oratorical inspiration during his campaign and the first 18 months or so of his presidency has fallen to a less charismatic and borderline comatose effort to rally the nation. He looked utterly defeated yesterday. He looked as if he has had enough and he might not even bother running for reelection. It was just sad. If FDR tanked speeches like Obama did, we might still be in depression. if Truman wasn't able to unite congressional leaders, we might still be at war with half the world. If Reagan didn't fire all the airline workers, we may still be held hostage by unions. What has inspired Americans to create greatness and wealth in the past has become a downtrodden effort to not piss anyone off. I know the argument that "we can't govern if we don't get elected." But what about making the efforts to create inspiration through leadership? I heard someone say once that Lincoln did what he thought was right even though it meant losing half the country. I think politicians today don't do what they know to be right if it means losing swing states' electoral votes. But this is the nation that we have created. America spent the better part of the 20th century atop the global economy. Maybe it's time we spend some time supplicating ourselves and realizing our own mortality. We're fragile. Not all of us though. This is a quote from Joe Scarborough in Politico this morning:

"I spent this past weekend driving through neighborhoods much like the type my parents took me though on Sunday mornings so long ago. But the large homes with driveways filled with Mercedes and BMWs seems like relics from a different age - much like the $1,500 shoes that The New York Times recently reported were flying off the shelves of certain Manhattan boutiques. The images of these massive homes and $100,000 cars seemed to clash with the morning headlines announcing a downgrade of the United States' credit rating and the death of 30 U.S. troops in an endless, expensive war. And while America stumbles toward default, millions of Americans are unemployed and the middle class keeps getting squeezed."

While I don't particularly like Joe, and rarely agree with him, he's got a point here. The rich are staying rich, the poor are remaining poor and the middle class (80% of Americans) are getting bent over the rail. It's not fair, but it never is. Rich people vote; the contribute money; they are the movers and the shakers in Washington. Like it or not, they are our representatives. Not our congressmen. How can we expect a congressman to respect my opinion when his war chest is filled with money from people who represent the exact opposite of my beliefs? This is the world we have created. We let the people who have money get what they want. When was the last time you heard of a billionaire who didn't get what he/she wanted? They get what they want because they can pay for it. Who the hell wouldn't want to live like that? I understand that everything is relative and that billionaires have problems and depression and heartache just like the rest of us, but I can only speak for myslef when I say that all of my problems are financial. I'm pretty sure that if I had a billion dollars, my problems would be over. And that I would hold my congressman hostage every time he/she did something I didn't like. I would be able to say things like, "I'll contribute money to your campaign if..." (fill in the blank).

What Joe doesn't mention in his column is a way to make things better for the middle class. How do we do that? Are we going to bank on the rhetoric of the mainstream media? That is where this Washington bureaucratic battle is being waged right now.

Here's my solution. Instituting the Me Party is step one. Ending the wars is step two. After that, we're on the right track for greatness again. It's just going to take a generation or so to get this done. Maybe Gracyn and Evelyn will help move this idea along.

midnight madness

recent events in the Davis household have brought to my attention some generally inconsistent emotions. Jackie has been sick. one of her milk ducts in her left boob became infected and developed into something called  mastitis. Thank goodness Aunt Niesy was visiting this week or we would have been really screwed. Also, Kingsley (one of the dogs) has been having seizures. So what does it mean to this poor blogger. Not as much as you would think. I've been working 6 days/week and not as involved with the goings on of the household as I would like to be. I don't get home until after 7:00pm, so by the time I get home and eat dinner there's a little time to play with Gracyn, hold Evelyn and then it's bath time, then bed time, then time to feed Evelyn again and go to bed. Jackie's mastitis has kept her from waking up with Evelyn for the middle of the night feedings. So, I'm happy because work is going well, upset that I don't see my girls as much as I want, thankful that Neisy is here, distressed because Jackie is sick, exhausted on account of midnight feedings and ecstatic because I just found out that I have a ticket to the Steelers vs. Rams game on Dec. 24th (thanks Mason). So two nights ago I had to wake up with Evelyn every 3 hours to change and feed her. Not so bad. Just tiresome after a while. Night before last this is what happened. After falling asleep around 1:00am, Evelyn woke up at 2 to eat. I rolled out of bed and picked up the crying infant. I talked to her for a bit and calmed her down. Proceeded to the next room to change her. No poop. "Where's the poop?" I asked her. Stupid question, right? So I get a new diaper on. screaming. walk downstairs and start to warm up a bottle. As I'm holding the distressed child I begin to hear a shakey whimpering sound from the living room. Kingsley's having a seizure. Great. So I put Evelyn in the pack-n-play, grab a towel from the laundry room and hold it over Kingsley's pee hole. (he pees when he has seizures). I caught almost all the pee before it had a chance to get soak into the carpet. Evelyn still crying, I remember that I had her bottle in the bottle warmer. Crap. Overheated. So I throw the bottle into the freezer and get back to Kingsley. Done with seizing, he was laying on the floor in recovery. I pick up Evelyn, go to the freezer to get the bottle. A little too cool now, but I give it to her anyway, she's still screaming for crying out loud. I put he bottle in her little mouth and walk back to the living room. Standing over Kingsley, I hear (and feel) what cannot be mistaken as a very loud, very explosive crap. I look at Evelyn, "oh, there's the poop." Kingsley seems stable, so I get back to the changing table. Now I'm standing there wondering if I should interrupt the feeding to change the diaper. There's just something about eating while sitting in her own feces that makes me cringe. Reluctantly I take the bottle, set it on the dining room table and commence the changing process. Take her out of the blanket, unbutton onsie, lift legs, unfasten diaper, take a look at the damage. Oh man, what the hell. it's fricken everywhere. her onsie, the blanket, half way up her back. damn it. So unavoidably she starts crying again. I lift her legs, slide each arm out, then over her head. onsie off. stage one complete. I open the blanket to make a little receiving area for the rest of the dirty, discarded garments. we use a changing pad thing so we don't get the changing table messy; well that has poop on it now too. I take that off and lay her directly on the changing table. Ok. All of the poopy things are away from my work station. I clean her up with baby wipes (probably used 50 or so), lift her up, wipe the changing table off (another 50 wipes). New diaper on, clean onsie, new blanket. Done. I put off dealing with the pile of poopy stuff so I can feed her the rest of the bottle. Put the bottle in her mouth. Stopped crying. All is well, right? Wrong. Kingsley seizes again. Son of a bitch! At this point I couldn't take the bottle from Evelyn again. So I make sure Kingsley isn't going to hit his head on anything, push the towel close to his belly and let the seizure pass. Ok. It looks like Evelyn is almost done with the bottle, she's relaxed and calm and her eyes are closing ever so slightly. She's content. I take her back upstairs and lay her down. Get back downstairs, help Kingsley up, get him some medicine, clean the pee spots on the carpet, throw all baby poop and dog pee stuff in the washer and go back to bed. You're not going to believe this, but 2 hours later the almost exact same events occurred in almost the exact same order. Welcome to fatherhood. Anyway, Jackie is feeling better today, Kingsley seems to be over his bout of seizures and Evelyn will continue to cry, poop, eat and sleep until she passes the infancy stage. Let's hope that's the end of midnight feeding catastrophes.

first haiku

political crap
congressional budget cuts
move to canada

beavis and butthead
a generation speaks out
live love scooby snacks

there's probably an art to this but i'll never understand it. i'm too wrapped up in children, cornhole and lindsay lohan to worry about obscure poetry.

The Me Party

In lieu of the debt ceiling "crisis" I'm proposing a resolution to appoint a congressional representative in the House from the Me Party. This party serves my self interest. I figure I'm a pretty regular guy and my family lives a pretty regular life. If I have a representative in Washington that sticks up for what I believe and votes how I want him/her to vote, then I figure other people who may consider themselves regular will be represented as well. Here's what I think is phenomenal about this idea: not once will this representative speak to anyone who is not directly represented by him/her. no press. no other party people. no celebrity golfing. no communication of any kind. facebook. twitter. blogging. nothing. What will this accomplish? It will guarantee that no influence except the people of whom are represented will be expressed by the Me Party representative. So many of our political battles are played, won and lost in the political arena of lobbyists, martini lunches and media savvy, money hungry msnbc, fox news and cnn journalists. I literally heard at least 5 reputable journalists say this morning that the debt ceiling crisis was not that big of a deal. These are the same fat ass fear mongers that suckered me into watching their news programs every day for the past 5 weeks by saying that this vote is one of the most important votes in recent political history.

So what happens now? maybe I'll be able to answer that tomorrow....but I doubt it. I'm getting kind of sick of writing about this stuff. I think I'll try some jokes, personal stories, limericks, maybe haiku. I'll just throw some stuff out there and see what sticks to the wall. how's that sound?

bunch of band-aid wielding neophytes

well I broke my promise to my ailing heart and watched the news this morning and I've been listening to talk radio all day. here's what I've come up with: the President woosed out, the Speaker of the House didn't really get what he wanted (exactly), the Tea Party-ers got exactly what they wanted and the Deficit Reduction Committee has total and complete control of how our taxes and spending changes will be regulated in the future. Does anyone know who is on the Deficit Reduction Committee? I think it should be Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, Bevis, Butthead, Rambo and Mr. T. Who's with me? The House was scheduled to vote last night, then this morning, then this afternoon and here it is 6:30pm and they still have't voted. The political ramifications behind this saga in Washington is this: the story can be spun however you feel like interpreting it. If you're a Republican, you can see it as a victory for your guys. You can say "WOO HOO we beat the stupid wimpy President again!" but then you'll take a closer look at the bill, then you'll look at each other, then look at the bill, then look at fox news, then look at the ground, then look at a big statue of a guy sitting on a horse and starring at the White House with a shameful look, then pass out with your face in a victory cake. If you're a Democrat you can see it as a victory for your President. You can say that he is capable and competent and he may have just got the crap kicked out of him, but he's still a good leader. He, and the Democratic congressional delegation, will walk back to the swing set with their heads down, but will begin a plot for revenge. That meeting will go something like this, they'll look at each other, look at the ground, look at each other, read the bill, watch msnbc, look at the big statue of a guy with a beard, pass out with a cake knife in their hand.

So remember people, there is no such thing as a victory or a defeat in Washington. As long as people are talking, we can spin the story however we feel like it. Damn I love this country.....and cake.