ok. so I down played the intensity of this struggle just a bit. It's now been 9 days since I've started the journey towards a non-smoking lifestyle. There have been some ups and downs over the past few days. A couple really cool things happened over the weekend. First, I was out of work for 2 days in a row and I didn't need to sneak away from the family periodically to suck down a cigarette. Second, I was able to take the money I saved from not smoking and spend it on Gracyn at the Matthews' City annual fair. I bought her a train ride, a pony ride and a few trips around a bounce house, along with ice cream and funnel cake. So that was pretty sweet. As we walked around the festival atmosphere I found myself smelling smokers all around. And in some cases looking down my nose at them. I would think things like, "get that nasty smoke out of here. this is a family event." then I would almost immediately think, "your such an asshole. a few days ago you'd be standing right next to that dude." So, all in all it was a great weekend. I had a bunch of cravings, but nothing I couldn't handle....and the girls kept me busy enough. My cravings are exponentially multiplied by boredom. Say what you will about being a father, but boring it is not.
Tuesday rolled around and the first morning back to work was tough. A cup of coffee, piece of gum. Good to go. But around noon, my boss got all pissy with me about something inconsequential. It shouldn't have bothered me, and probably wouldn't have if I were able to walk outside and take a break with my dirty little buddy. But alas, I sat at my desk, bit my lip and went about my day. I chewed the crap out of a few pieces of gum, so much so that I thought I was going to get sick on account of excess nicotine. But I got through it. Kept my head down for the rest of the day and made it through with no smoking. whew, that was close. Wednesday was a better day at work, super busy. Still had some cravings, still wanted nothing more than to walk outside for a break, still fighting my natural instinct to inhale fire. Made it through.
A few things I've noticed so far: Obviously I'm breathing better. No more wheezing, labored breathing, easier to fall asleep. I've also started coughing up some funky colors. I guess it's some of the tar and other crap that I've been inhaling for so long. It's weird to stop smoking and then start coughing. Hopefully my lungs will clean themselves out and the coughing won't last too long.
I'm fighting a craving right now. I'm sitting here at 6am and kind of forcing out this blog. Ordinarily I would take a break, walk outside, have a smoke and think about what to write next. But here I am; just fighting through it to the chagrin of my creative writing style. I find that in situations like this, it's better to stop writing, step back, take a break, stop thinking about it for a few minutes, let your mind take you some place else. then come back when you're ready and dig in. But this time I'm going to force through it.
While I'm fighting, did anyone see the republican debate/rally last night? The republican field is ridiculous. There's only one guy that could have a chance in hell against this incumbent democratic presidency (any incumbent democratic presidency). Mitt Romney. He is a solid candidate, but it baffles me that the Rhinos can't find a single warm bodied representative that matches up better than the former Massachusetts Governor. His most challenging opponent is Rick Perry; a guy who makes the Marlboro man look like a pussy. Perry seems like the kind of guy to take snake bite shots, start a bar fight and then get out of the there before everyone else gets arrested. A fun guy to hang with, but not exactly Presidential material. He actually seems like every democrat's dream opponent. A charismatic debater like Obama (since he's starting to show some new-found candor) would wipe the floor with a guy like Rick Perry. The rest of the field used their air time to tell us once again that no matter who wins the republican nomination they must get Obama out of office. There's a new concept. Come on folks. Tell us something new. Everyone says "I'm going to create jobs. I'm going to save the economy. America is about freedom." blah blah blah blah. How can you create jobs, support the troops, save the national economy and cut taxes all at the same time? here's the short answer: you can't. Something's got to give ya'll. Instead of hearing what the candidates are going to create to save the country, I want to hear what the candidates are planning to get rid of in order to cut the national deficit, save social security, bring the troops home and put Americans back to work. These people have simply got to be more smarter than what i am. So where's the plan? Come up with something. I'll be waiting with ballot in hand. Once again I say that I'm writing my own name in on my ballot. And once again, I suggest that you do the same.
Craving has passed. Now to the rest of the day. Wish me luck!
Tuesday rolled around and the first morning back to work was tough. A cup of coffee, piece of gum. Good to go. But around noon, my boss got all pissy with me about something inconsequential. It shouldn't have bothered me, and probably wouldn't have if I were able to walk outside and take a break with my dirty little buddy. But alas, I sat at my desk, bit my lip and went about my day. I chewed the crap out of a few pieces of gum, so much so that I thought I was going to get sick on account of excess nicotine. But I got through it. Kept my head down for the rest of the day and made it through with no smoking. whew, that was close. Wednesday was a better day at work, super busy. Still had some cravings, still wanted nothing more than to walk outside for a break, still fighting my natural instinct to inhale fire. Made it through.
A few things I've noticed so far: Obviously I'm breathing better. No more wheezing, labored breathing, easier to fall asleep. I've also started coughing up some funky colors. I guess it's some of the tar and other crap that I've been inhaling for so long. It's weird to stop smoking and then start coughing. Hopefully my lungs will clean themselves out and the coughing won't last too long.
I'm fighting a craving right now. I'm sitting here at 6am and kind of forcing out this blog. Ordinarily I would take a break, walk outside, have a smoke and think about what to write next. But here I am; just fighting through it to the chagrin of my creative writing style. I find that in situations like this, it's better to stop writing, step back, take a break, stop thinking about it for a few minutes, let your mind take you some place else. then come back when you're ready and dig in. But this time I'm going to force through it.
While I'm fighting, did anyone see the republican debate/rally last night? The republican field is ridiculous. There's only one guy that could have a chance in hell against this incumbent democratic presidency (any incumbent democratic presidency). Mitt Romney. He is a solid candidate, but it baffles me that the Rhinos can't find a single warm bodied representative that matches up better than the former Massachusetts Governor. His most challenging opponent is Rick Perry; a guy who makes the Marlboro man look like a pussy. Perry seems like the kind of guy to take snake bite shots, start a bar fight and then get out of the there before everyone else gets arrested. A fun guy to hang with, but not exactly Presidential material. He actually seems like every democrat's dream opponent. A charismatic debater like Obama (since he's starting to show some new-found candor) would wipe the floor with a guy like Rick Perry. The rest of the field used their air time to tell us once again that no matter who wins the republican nomination they must get Obama out of office. There's a new concept. Come on folks. Tell us something new. Everyone says "I'm going to create jobs. I'm going to save the economy. America is about freedom." blah blah blah blah. How can you create jobs, support the troops, save the national economy and cut taxes all at the same time? here's the short answer: you can't. Something's got to give ya'll. Instead of hearing what the candidates are going to create to save the country, I want to hear what the candidates are planning to get rid of in order to cut the national deficit, save social security, bring the troops home and put Americans back to work. These people have simply got to be more smarter than what i am. So where's the plan? Come up with something. I'll be waiting with ballot in hand. Once again I say that I'm writing my own name in on my ballot. And once again, I suggest that you do the same.
Craving has passed. Now to the rest of the day. Wish me luck!
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